This article was written by Peg Tillman, Network Coordinator for Panic and Anxiety Connection, an online email and chat based support group for people with anxiety and panic disorders. For more information about online support groups, please contact me at PegsPAC@aol.com
Taking Baby Steps
Panic and Anxiety Connection Online
By Peg Tillman
So many times we hear the advice that in order to achieve our goals with anxiety and panic we must take baby steps. Its such simple and easy advice that we often take it for granted that everyone understands what it is to work through our problems this way. But, as I watch my granddaughter Emily attempting her first few steps, I wonder...do we really think about what baby steps are?
Emily began climbing and standing up on things in early July. Slowly, she progressed to a few halting steps holding on with both hands to the couch or end tables. By early August she had summoned the courage to let go and stand alone on wobbly legs. All that month she practiced every day and I watched as her legs became stronger and surer and she stood for longer lengths of time. By the end of the month, she could stand alone with confidence and even drink from her cup or play with a toy without losing her balance.
September came and though she was confident in standing alone, she still would not attempt a step. No amount of coaxing could convince her it was safe to lift her chubby feet from the floor though we could see she wanted so to run and play like the bigger kids.
Then this weekend, it finally happened, Emily raised her foot and slid it almost imperceptibly forward. Though she had no problem with balance when standing, just that slight movement caused her little legs to give out from under her and she promptly fell to the floor. Determined, she picked herself up and tried again and again she fell, continuing to try until she tired and cried. The next day she was up and practicing once more, this time taking her tentative step with more confidence and a great deal of determination. Still, having mastered the first step, she could not move the other foot that was planted safely on the ground.
With each try, Emily cheered for herself, clapping her hands and squealing with joy, even though she only managed to move one foot. Soon, she found she could move the same foot, but became frustrated because she could only go in a circle with her safe foot holding still. She tried twisting her upper body in order to go straight ahead, only to find herself back on the floor.
Yesterday, she moved her other foot forward and managed to not fall. Cheering herself again, she would regain her balance, but would not attempt another step. This morning, she managed four tentative steps forward and I am sure that will be her routine for the day.
It may be next week, or even the first of October before she feels confident enough to walk across the room. By December I am sure she will be toddling all around the Christmas Tree with delight.
As I watched her through this struggle for independence, I thought of our baby steps for anxiety. Emily proves a perfect guide for us.
1. She recognized her need to walk.
2. Before she attempted a step, she made sure she was balanced.
3. No amount of prodding or tempting made her rush herself into a step.
4. She cheered herself for each achievement.
5. When she fell, she accepted it as part of the learning process.
6. She practiced everyday with determination. If she fell down, she did not just crawl to what she wanted, but got back up and tried again.
7. She never lost sight of her goal.
By next summer, Emily will be running with joy, able to keep up with her brother and cousins. She will still tumble and fall from time to time, but she will be up and about mastering the other skills needed for life. Think about it…so could we!!!!